It's just silly

Have you ever truly thought about how much time and happiness you have wasted in hiding who you really are? We work so hard to put forth this image of normalcy when normal does not truly exist. Everyone is different and not in some floofy make your-kid-feel-better-about themselves way but truly. Have you noticed that we tell children that? A lot? It is because it is true and yet, as we age we seem to forget that. But that seems true of a lot of things we tell children, like share and don't lie. Somehow it is ok to tell children everyone is different just so they can grow up and try to normalize themselves.

I have recently written about some of the things that i was willing to admit through semi-anonymity the thoughts of violence or lust or not caring. I cannot be the only one. And yet, even that was problematic for my mother. She said that she admired my bravery but that it concerned her and I need to hide the post from future employers. Good advice but why?

I have talked to other people that when I opened up and admitted the truth, SO DID THEY!

Everyone has sexuality and yet we are taught to hide it. Do not tell people you are queer. Do not tell people you like sex. Do not admit you even think about sex. Never admit your fantasies or you will scare people away. We all have thoughts of hurting someone or breaking something from time to time and yet we are taught to hide it. Don't let people see how angry you are. Do not admit you have had thoughts of damage. Never ever admit you have wanted to hurt someone before.

And it doesn't end there. We do this for everything. Hide how much you like food. Hide your body issues. Hide your depressions and anxieties. As my last post wrote, hide any emotions you have from someone you are interested in. Hide the jokes others might not like. Hide your disagreeable beliefs. Hide anything that makes you seem strange.

Well here is the truth. I like me. I like food and sexuality. I think about sex. I often wanted to break things or punch people. I I laugh at inappropriate jokes. I LOVE FOOD and sometimes that makes me uncomfortable with my body. I am depressed and anxious. Sometimes, I just don't want to shower because who am I trying to impress? I love and like my boyfriend. I find him appealing in so many ways. I have beliefs not everyone will agree with.

I am human and I am proud.

Everyone is different so stop holding yourself back so much. It is okay to admit you have flaws or that you have feelings. THAT IS NORMAL! It is better than normal, it is human.



Source: http://www.thepetcollective.tv/never-ending-awesomeness-36-corgi-gifs-that-will-make-you-squee/

Let's Change the Dating Culture: You deserve better

The state of modern dating is atrocious to me and for a long time I gave into it because it was popular and I figured it was the only way.

Last night, I went out with my boyfriend and two of our friends who had recently started some sort of....well...relationship? dating? chilling? Who knows. Not I'm not saying a label is needed to be happy or for your relationship to matter but they didn't know what the other was thinking of the situation. I asked my girl friend if it was a date and she replied with an awkward "I don't know." I responded saying she had a say in the matter and her response really got to me..."Do I really though?"

YES! OF COURSE YOU DO! 

It amazes me how many awkward mind-games are played among twenty-something year-olds. It is a game of chicken where no one wins. You can never be the first to say what you want, you should wait until they text you first, you should never say I love you first, and on and on and on.

If both parties are "playing it cool" and doing their best to avoid being the first to show real interest then NO ON GETS ANYWHERE! 

If you want it to be a date, you should be able to say so. "Hey, I like you and would like to pursue a casual (or serious) romantic relationship with you." See how easy that was? Now I know easier said than done but maybe that is because of the culture we have created. I have seen both males and females that wanted something more serious in their relationship and suffered because they did not speak up. If you want to be exclusive then tell them. If they say no then you decide if you want to look elsewhere or maybe you keep doing your thing. If you want more than just sleeping together or "chilling" then tell them.

I used to think that commitment and marriage and monogamy seemed so boring and unnecessary. I thought casual "hanaging" and "talking" was the only way.

Here is an important tip: It's not.

Look at people that still love and like eachother after being together for years. You know how they do it? They talk to each other about what they want and expect from the other. Now they may not always agree but that is not the point.

So young'ns: stop playing these messy games. Figure out for yourself what you want and then communicate it. Trust me, it is so much better on the other side.