Let's Change the Dating Culture: You deserve better

The state of modern dating is atrocious to me and for a long time I gave into it because it was popular and I figured it was the only way.

Last night, I went out with my boyfriend and two of our friends who had recently started some sort of....well...relationship? dating? chilling? Who knows. Not I'm not saying a label is needed to be happy or for your relationship to matter but they didn't know what the other was thinking of the situation. I asked my girl friend if it was a date and she replied with an awkward "I don't know." I responded saying she had a say in the matter and her response really got to me..."Do I really though?"

YES! OF COURSE YOU DO! 

It amazes me how many awkward mind-games are played among twenty-something year-olds. It is a game of chicken where no one wins. You can never be the first to say what you want, you should wait until they text you first, you should never say I love you first, and on and on and on.

If both parties are "playing it cool" and doing their best to avoid being the first to show real interest then NO ON GETS ANYWHERE! 

If you want it to be a date, you should be able to say so. "Hey, I like you and would like to pursue a casual (or serious) romantic relationship with you." See how easy that was? Now I know easier said than done but maybe that is because of the culture we have created. I have seen both males and females that wanted something more serious in their relationship and suffered because they did not speak up. If you want to be exclusive then tell them. If they say no then you decide if you want to look elsewhere or maybe you keep doing your thing. If you want more than just sleeping together or "chilling" then tell them.

I used to think that commitment and marriage and monogamy seemed so boring and unnecessary. I thought casual "hanaging" and "talking" was the only way.

Here is an important tip: It's not.

Look at people that still love and like eachother after being together for years. You know how they do it? They talk to each other about what they want and expect from the other. Now they may not always agree but that is not the point.

So young'ns: stop playing these messy games. Figure out for yourself what you want and then communicate it. Trust me, it is so much better on the other side.